My best tips when preparing for birth..
Wanna know my two biggest and best tips when it comes to preparing for birth, regardless of how or where you plan to birth?
It might raise some questions at first, but trust me, there is a method to the madness!
Firstly, my biggest tip is…
Prepare to freebirth.
What's a freebirth, you ask? There are a few definitions, but they mostly all come down to one thing in common—it is a birth with no medical professional present. Some say a freebirth is completely on your own, with no one there besides the birthing mother. Some say it’s with only support people (partner/sister) in an unpaid capacity, so it is ‘free.’ And some say with whomever the mother wants—a doula possibly—but no midwives or doctors. Freebirths are mostly done at home, in the mother’s comfort and safety.
Now, my tip for preparing to freebirth is NOT because I think everyone should boycott the system and everyone should give birth at home unassisted. Believe me, that is not where I’m going with this.
My reason for saying you should prepare to freebirth is because if you do that, then you are preparing for physiological birth, and when you prepare for physiological birth, you learn about physiological birth.
Maybe your plan is to go straight to the hospital and get an epidural at the first opportunity. That’s great! I love that for you. But what if your labor progresses too quickly and there’s no time for the epidural? Suddenly, you’re feeling everything without any preparation. And what if your baby comes before you even make it to the hospital, in the car or at home on the bathroom floor?
If you haven’t taken the time to understand how to work with your body’s surges, what your hormones are doing, what’s normal (or a variation of normal) in terms of blood loss/positioning or what the heck happens with the cord and placenta, then you’re probably going to panic. And fear makes everything a lot worse.
But if you’ve educated yourself, if you understand birth physiology and feel confident in your ability to navigate it, even an unexpected situation won’t feel so scary. Preparing to freebirth is about building trust and confidence within your body. It's about empowering you to believe in your ability to birth. It's removing the fear and replacing it with facts. It's complete surrender.
I encourage you to start leaning into your intuition—it is the absolute driver of your labor (and your life). Birth is YOURS, and no one can take that away from you. Knowing how to birth without relying on anyone else telling you what to do gives you the ultimate power. Regardless of your chosen birthplace, understanding birth on this level ensures that you remain the one in charge.
Now, my second biggest tip is…
Prepare for a Cesarean.
Wait… what? You just told me to learn all about physiological birth, and now you’re telling me to prepare for surgery?!
Yep. Hear me out.
Cesarean sections are a life-saving surgery that we are very lucky to have access to. Don't get me wrong, I believe they are MASSIVELY overused and that most women today having cesareans probably don't truly need one. But that doesn't mean that sometime, some of the time, they are a truly, absolutely life-saving surgery that could very much be needed to keep you and/or your baby alive.
In my very honest and brutal opinion, I think it is irresponsible for women to not learn and prepare for a cesarean section ‘just in case.’
There is always going to be a possibility of birth requiring a cesarean, and we can do things to minimize the chances of needing one, absolutely, but the risk will always be there. That's why it makes sense to have a conversation about it, prepare for it, and add a few key preferences to your birth plan—then put it out of your mind unless it becomes relevant.
When I talk about this with my clients, I normally say, ‘This is just wasted conversation and not always necessary, but if it comes down to it, we're gonna be thankful we spoke about it!’
There’s a huge misconception that women have no say during a cesarean—that they just have to go along with whatever happens. That’s not true. While it is major surgery, there are many aspects you can have a say in. Here are just a few:
Who’s in the room – You can decline students/extra staff or request additional support.
Incision placement – You can ask where they cut (lower/higher) or if they can do a longways incision.
Closure method – You can discuss sutures vs. staples and request double stitching for better healing (especially for future VBAC).
Cord cutting – You can tell them when to cut the cord, or even ask for a lotus birth.
Immediate skin-to-skin – You can ask to hold your baby immediately after birth.
Sensory experience – You can request music, silence, or for the team to chat and keep you distracted.
Vaginal seeding – You can ask to transfer microbiomes from the vagina to your baby.
Monitor placement – You can request monitors to be placed away from your chest for a better skin-to-skin experience.
Newborn handling – You can request no immediate wiping or suctioning of the baby.
Sure, some of these things might not be possible when it comes down to it, but you can TRY.
I believe birth is inherently safe and intuitive, and in most cases, it can unfold naturally. Unfortunately, cesareans are often overused, and many women are told they must have one when that’s simply not true.
A breech baby does not mean an automatic cesarean section—unless you truly want one.
A twin/multiples birth does not mean an automatic cesarean section—unless you truly want one.
A previous cesarean does not mean an automatic cesarean section—unless you truly want one.
A large baby does not mean an automatic cesarean section—unless you truly want one.
Some true emergencies that may seriously require a cesarean are:
Placenta previa – When the placenta is completely covering the cervix (not to be confused with ‘low-lying placenta’).
Placental abruption – When the placenta separates from the uterus too soon, causing heavy bleeding.
Cord prolapse – When the umbilical cord slips through the cervix before the baby, cutting off oxygen.
Uterine rupture – A rare but serious tearing of the uterus.
Wherever you choose to birth, I really think if you prepare for these two scenarios, you are going to be much better off. Of course, I also encourage you to prepare for an epidural and some of the other interventions that could possibly come your way. But hopefully, this preparation helps give you confidence and absolute trust in yourself.
Birth is unpredictable, but that doesn't mean you can't be prepared for it. You don't need to fear the unknown—you can step into your power and know that however your birth unfolds, you were the boss and took charge.
If you feel as though you need help doing some of this work, then I offer birth mapping sessions either as one-off sessions or included in my birth packages. Birth Mapping is an incredible tool I use to help you create a map of your birth that is aligned with your wants and needs while also helping you prepare for the what-ifs. We walk through all the possibilities of birth so there are no surprises, and you can feel confident and informed walking into your birth.
I'm Tasmyn, I’m a birth and postpartum doula in Perth, servicing far north of the river. I am here to guide you to birth confidently and enter motherhood feeling nourished, honored, and supported. I can teach you how to love and appreciate your birthing body by learning how to trust and work with it during labor and birth.
You can find me on Instagram as @tasmynbeasy_doula, or click HERE to head to my website.